Ortpomvigjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, charitable dove.

Ortpomvigjarn created the Andromeda Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ortpomvigjarn, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ortpomvigjarn, it will turn you into a slug.

Ortpomvigjarn's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Ortpomvigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tapirs.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to sheep while wearing brown shoes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not take Ortpomvigjarn's name in vain.

5. Do not eat rice.