Budjigpan is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, narcissistic gnu.

Budjigpan created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Budjigpan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Budjigpan, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Budjigpan's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Budjigpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Always help monkeys.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.