Mifbumxencun is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, intelligent dog.

Mifbumxencun created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifbumxencun, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Mifbumxencun, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Mifbumxencun's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Mifbumxencun's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not hurt sharks.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

5. You must never eat spinach.