Matladcemdub is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, self-confident unicorn.

Matladcemdub created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matladcemdub, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Matladcemdub, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Matladcemdub's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Matladcemdub's Holy Commandments

1. Matladcemdub must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Matladcemdub loves gulls, so they must be respected.

5. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.