Panghiglop Nurtarpyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, temperamental dryad.

Panghiglop Nurtarpyarp created the cosmos four years ago.

If you believe in Panghiglop Nurtarpyarp, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Panghiglop Nurtarpyarp, she will turn you into a worm.

Panghiglop Nurtarpyarp's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Panghiglop Nurtarpyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed oranges to voles while wearing jumpers.

2. Worship no other gods but Panghiglop Nurtarpyarp.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.