Nulljampad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, narcissistic human.

Nulljampad created the Sol system five million years ago.

If you believe in Nulljampad, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nulljampad, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Nulljampad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Nulljampad's Holy Commandments

1. Cats are not to be trusted.

2. Erect nine zinc sculptures of Nulljampad on top of important buildings.

3. Never think ill of sick goats.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Nulljampad must be the most important thing in your life.