Flancetstan is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, weak eagle.

Flancetstan created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flancetstan, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flancetstan, it will torture you forever.

Flancetstan's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Flancetstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

2. Always help sick mice.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never feed lentils to eagles while wearing coats.