Vagstigpon is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful crane.

Vagstigpon created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagstigpon, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vagstigpon, he will turn you into a rat.

Vagstigpon's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Vagstigpon's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to whales while wearing mauve trousers.

2. Do not wear magenta clothing.

3. Hide from red hamsters for they are unholy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vagstigpon.