Gablip is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, dishonourable grasshopper.

Gablip created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gablip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gablip, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gablip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Gablip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near mice while wearing gray skirts and balancing seven silver spheres on your face.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Gablip on top of all buildings.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Put Gablip first in all things.