Listrutarfbemdamhonyimkom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, smart newt.

Listrutarfbemdamhonyimkom created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Listrutarfbemdamhonyimkom, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Listrutarfbemdamhonyimkom, it will cry a lot.

Listrutarfbemdamhonyimkom's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Listrutarfbemdamhonyimkom's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Listrutarfbemdamhonyimkom on top of all buildings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Listrutarfbemdamhonyimkom.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Never sit near goats.