Bemtigpod is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, charitable squirrel.

Bemtigpod created the cosmos two million years ago.

If you believe in Bemtigpod, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bemtigpod, he will destroy your home planet.

Bemtigpod's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bemtigpod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near foxes while wearing brown tights and balancing seven iron spheres on your back.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always help tapirs in need.