Jarnhudnut is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, intelligent mink.

Jarnhudnut created water six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnhudnut, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jarnhudnut, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jarnhudnut's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Jarnhudnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not chop down trees.