Cemtettistip is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, temperamental spider.

Cemtettistip created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemtettistip, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Cemtettistip, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Cemtettistip's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Cemtettistip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Hide from blue aardvarks for they are unholy.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. You must pray to Cemtettistip three times a day.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to grasshopers while wearing magenta hats.