Wanrapven Bellxemtig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, thoughtless monkey.

Wanrapven Bellxemtig created Africa seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Wanrapven Bellxemtig, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wanrapven Bellxemtig, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wanrapven Bellxemtig's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Wanrapven Bellxemtig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from white otters for they are unholy.

2. Worship no other gods but Wanrapven Bellxemtig.

3. You must pray to Wanrapven Bellxemtig seven times a day.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never look at comets.