Kadduntail is a god.

He takes the form of a small, merciful wren.

Kadduntail created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadduntail, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kadduntail, he will turn you into a duck.

Kadduntail's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Kadduntail's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear pink jumpers.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Kadduntail on top of important buildings.

5. Run away if four goats approach from the north.