Ortflyruttmitfudcan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unfair hippopotamus.

Ortflyruttmitfudcan created the Black Eye Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Ortflyruttmitfudcan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ortflyruttmitfudcan, he will not invite you to parties.

Ortflyruttmitfudcan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Ortflyruttmitfudcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Run away if three nematodes approach from the west.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.