Dinwanvil is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, caring goose.

Dinwanvil created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dinwanvil, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dinwanvil, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Dinwanvil's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dinwanvil's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are not to be trusted.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. You must pray to Dinwanvil five times a day.