Gemquimbad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, merciless ferret.

Gemquimbad created the planet Saturn nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gemquimbad, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Gemquimbad, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Gemquimbad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Gemquimbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always wear cyan.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect seven gold sculptures of Gemquimbad on top of important buildings.

5. Respect your elders.