Fubcimaf is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, self-confident cat.

Fubcimaf created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubcimaf, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fubcimaf, she will turn you into a frog.

Fubcimaf's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Fubcimaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never feed lots of aubergines to voles while wearing turquoise skirts.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.