Wotcebnill is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic monkey.

Wotcebnill created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wotcebnill, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wotcebnill, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Wotcebnill's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Wotcebnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help whales.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wotcebnill.

5. Never eat bananas.