Zenmitingsog is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unsympathetic snake.

Zenmitingsog created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenmitingsog, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zenmitingsog, he will turn you into a hamster.

Zenmitingsog's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Zenmitingsog's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks in need.

2. Never talk about stars.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always treat whales with great respect.

5. Zenmitingsog must be the most important thing in your life.