Yimquillnull Begbessdod is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonest cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Yimquillnull Begbessdod created the Andromeda Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yimquillnull Begbessdod, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Yimquillnull Begbessdod, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yimquillnull Begbessdod's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Yimquillnull Begbessdod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick dogs.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near rats while wearing brown corsets and balancing nine nickel spheres on your head.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.