Gutgudtungom is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, ruthless bee.

Gutgudtungom created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutgudtungom, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gutgudtungom, she will not care.

Gutgudtungom's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gutgudtungom's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear cyan hats.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about spacetime near goats while wearing white ear rings and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.