Flamtaldog is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish monkey.

Flamtaldog created vertebrates two years ago.

If you believe in Flamtaldog, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flamtaldog, he will turn you into a slug.

Flamtaldog's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Flamtaldog's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Flamtaldog.

2. Flamtaldog must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never leap near bats.

5. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Flamtaldog in the centre of the settlement.