Gatbutmut is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent gorilla.

Gatbutmut created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gatbutmut, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gatbutmut, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Gatbutmut's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Gatbutmut's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never talk about tapirs.

3. Erect seven titanium sculptures of Gatbutmut on top of important buildings.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Gatbutmut in the centre of the settlement.