Baphapbest is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awe-inspiring horse.

Baphapbest created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baphapbest, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Baphapbest, he will curse you with boils.

Baphapbest's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Baphapbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark matter near grasshopers while wearing purple boots and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your arms.

2. Always help voles in need.

3. Never feed peanuts to birds while wearing corsets.

4. Never talk about aardvarks.

5. Do not listen to music.