Nurtvonriplik is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited dugong.

Nurtvonriplik created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtvonriplik, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nurtvonriplik, it will come to you in dreams.

Nurtvonriplik's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Nurtvonriplik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange whales for they are unholy.

2. Do not take Nurtvonriplik's name in vain.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Run away from indigo rats, for they are unholy.