Lancuttad is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, witless wyrm.

Lancuttad created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lancuttad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lancuttad, he will strike you with lightening.

Lancuttad's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Lancuttad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat coconuts.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always obey Lancuttad's priests.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.