Cungigjab is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty warg.

Cungigjab created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cungigjab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cungigjab, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cungigjab's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Cungigjab's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. You must pray to Cungigjab eight times a day.

3. Never think about gravity near frogs while wearing orange shoes and balancing four silver spheres on your back.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not make images of living things.