Wadtarquaf Figzenjop is a god.

He takes the form of a large, passionate hedgehog.

Wadtarquaf Figzenjop created a charm quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadtarquaf Figzenjop, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wadtarquaf Figzenjop, he will turn you into a sheep.

Wadtarquaf Figzenjop's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Wadtarquaf Figzenjop's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine geese approach from the west.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Wadtarquaf Figzenjop in the centre of the settlement.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Retreat if four porpoises approach from the north.