Tonlinfar is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic dog.

Tonlinfar created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Tonlinfar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tonlinfar, he will think nothing of it.

Tonlinfar's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Tonlinfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a room before entering it.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never eat corn.