Timfenxenboggomcansandcun is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate jaguar.

Timfenxenboggomcansandcun created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Timfenxenboggomcansandcun, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Timfenxenboggomcansandcun, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Timfenxenboggomcansandcun's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Timfenxenboggomcansandcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs in need.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Timfenxenboggomcansandcun.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Timfenxenboggomcansandcun in the centre of the settlement.

5. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Timfenxenboggomcansandcun in the centre of the settlement.