Danzimxem is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, narcissistic crane.

Danzimxem created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danzimxem, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Danzimxem, he will strike you with lightening.

Danzimxem's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Danzimxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never hop in the presence of shrews.