Ontfadkon is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless hydra.

Ontfadkon created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Ontfadkon, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ontfadkon, it will turn you into a snail.

Ontfadkon's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Ontfadkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Do not kill nematodes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed lots of parsnips to foxes while wearing violet trousers.

5. Never wear scarves.