Canpinrut is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, slow warg.

Canpinrut created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canpinrut, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Canpinrut, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Canpinrut's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Canpinrut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Canpinrut on top of important buildings.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not hurt birds.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never look at nebulae.