Lincapzan is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, temperamental elephant.

Lincapzan created a quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lincapzan, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Lincapzan, it will cry a lot.

Lincapzan's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Lincapzan's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near birds while wearing purple kilts and balancing six titanium spheres on your hands.

3. Never paint your arms brown.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.