Sogflattam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, prudent jellyfish.

Sogflattam created dark energy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogflattam, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Sogflattam, she will turn you into a rat.

Sogflattam's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Sogflattam's Holy Commandments

1. Sogflattam loves voles, so they must be honoured.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into green rooms.

4. Shrews are not to be trusted.

5. Never talk about dwarf planets.