Waphantailjaptippagtag Mip is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, narcissistic mink.

Waphantailjaptippagtag Mip created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Waphantailjaptippagtag Mip, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Waphantailjaptippagtag Mip, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Waphantailjaptippagtag Mip's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Waphantailjaptippagtag Mip's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Run away from magenta dogs, for they are unholy.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Run away if six sheep approach from the north.

5. Waphantailjaptippagtag Mip must be the most important thing in your life.