Flaphadcan is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, egotistical otter.

Flaphadcan created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flaphadcan, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flaphadcan, he will turn you into a tree.

Flaphadcan's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Flaphadcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

3. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not kill gulls.

5. Always wear yellow.