Kenfitlarn is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, blissful hippopotamus.

Kenfitlarn created a Higgs boson eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kenfitlarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kenfitlarn, he will come to you in dreams.

Kenfitlarn's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Kenfitlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce near monkeys.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Kenfitlarn in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not drink alcohol.