Lenvagtig is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, benevolent turtle.

Lenvagtig created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lenvagtig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Lenvagtig, she will destroy your home solar system.

Lenvagtig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Lenvagtig's Holy Commandments

1. Lenvagtig loves bats, so they must be honoured.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always help sick great tits.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.