Podtencan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-confident cat.

Podtencan created humanity four billion years ago.

If you believe in Podtencan, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Podtencan, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Podtencan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Podtencan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never mention monkeys.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.