Jabfenpang is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, witless narwhal.

Jabfenpang created time and space nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabfenpang, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jabfenpang, she will turn you into a goat.

Jabfenpang's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Jabfenpang's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.