Saspanstik is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, omnipotent wren.

Saspanstik created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Saspanstik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Saspanstik, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Saspanstik's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Saspanstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Saspanstik.

3. Do not take Saspanstik's name in vain.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.