Hasbesston Dadminmat is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, self-assured dog.

Hasbesston Dadminmat created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hasbesston Dadminmat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hasbesston Dadminmat, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Hasbesston Dadminmat's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hasbesston Dadminmat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to mice while wearing hats.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to foxes while wearing black trousers.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

5. Do not kill otters.