Nurlkenwik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, weak elephant.

Nurlkenwik created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlkenwik, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nurlkenwik, she will manifest in front of you.

Nurlkenwik's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Nurlkenwik's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. You must never eat corn.

5. Never mention porpoises.