Zanyarlbap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy dove.

Zanyarlbap created the Small Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanyarlbap, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zanyarlbap, she will not care.

Zanyarlbap's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Zanyarlbap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

5. You must pray to Zanyarlbap four times a day.