Yiklagcab is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, confident jaguar.

Yiklagcab created life three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yiklagcab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yiklagcab, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yiklagcab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Yiklagcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yiklagcab.

5. Feed all hungry badgers.