Cudflabget Pon Lagwapjin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, irritating meerkat.

Cudflabget Pon Lagwapjin created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Cudflabget Pon Lagwapjin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cudflabget Pon Lagwapjin, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cudflabget Pon Lagwapjin's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Cudflabget Pon Lagwapjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Cudflabget Pon Lagwapjin in the centre of the settlement.

3. You must love Cudflabget Pon Lagwapjin.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.

5. Never mention nematodes.