Yarlcenwip is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless snake.

Yarlcenwip created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlcenwip, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarlcenwip, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Yarlcenwip's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Yarlcenwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.