Fossflabhan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, cheerful frog.

Fossflabhan created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Fossflabhan, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fossflabhan, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fossflabhan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Fossflabhan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near seals while wearing green scarves and balancing six platinum spheres on your feet.

2. Do not keep eight badgers in a large pit.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fossflabhan.

4. Erect seven tin sculptures of Fossflabhan on top of important buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.