Sitgilgenfartifrullstipbam is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unselfish goblin.

Sitgilgenfartifrullstipbam created a photon five million years ago.

If you believe in Sitgilgenfartifrullstipbam, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Sitgilgenfartifrullstipbam, it will turn you into a puffin.

Sitgilgenfartifrullstipbam's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Sitgilgenfartifrullstipbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shirts.

2. Erect four carbon sculptures of Sitgilgenfartifrullstipbam on top of important buildings.

3. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Always help sick swans.